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5 Takeaways for Building Trust and Curating Networks From the Workplace

I read The Hard Thing About Hard Things by Ben Horowitz so you don't have to—here's what's important.

Author

Devin Keane
May 31, 2023

Read time: 5 minutes

Hi Proactive Professional,

Last week we spoke about how to shift your perspective on maintaining professional relationships from a one-sided, transactional approach to a mutually meaningful one (in case you missed it, read it here).

Today let’s look at one of the first places you can begin to build the foundation for a meaningful professional relationship: the workplace.

The workplace looks different for everyone these days—maybe you’re working from your living room, you’re back to 5 days a week, or you’re only going in when your team has intramural volleyball. Regardless, there are daily opportunities to establish yourself as a meaningful connection to your colleagues.

This week, I read The Hard Thing About Hard Things by Ben Horowitz. If the name sounds familiar, it's likely because Ben is one of the founders of the venture capital firm Andreessen Horowitz ("a16z") that has invested in some of the most innovative tech companies around—including Facebook, Twitter, Airbnb, and Stripe. However, this book is not about the path to become the largest venture capital firm in the U.S. Instead, this takes place before a16z, when Ben Horowitz co-founded a business with Marc Andreessen and the subsequent analysis of pressing issues with no easy answers.

While many books will discuss the more obvious solutions during good times, Ben adopts a no-nonsense approach, offering practical frameworks and suggestions for conquering tough challenges, supported by real-life examples from his career.

What's most intriguing about this book is the life or death perspective Ben must apply to crucial company decisions. It paints a clear picture that choices and actions hold more weight when the stakes are higher. People remember the way you react in times of hardship—and this can make or break a professional relationship.

On its surface, this book is an entrepreneur’s resource that outlines important ways to make decisions during difficult stages of growth at a company. Go one level deeper and you find it also gives invaluable advice to proactive professionals, at any organizational tier, on creating the foundation for meaningful professional relationships.

Let's talk about the things you can do each day at work to become a focal point for connections. You may not be at that job forever, but you can ensure the connections made there follow you far after your departure.

Here are 5 takeaways for Proactive Professionals to build trust and curate your network effectively:

1. Lead by Example

  • Takeaway: "Every time you make the hard, correct decision you become a bit more courageous and every time you make the easy, wrong decision you become a bit more cowardly."

  • Tip: There is a fine line between fear and courage. Fear tempts us to evade responsibilities and seek the path of least resistance. True courage lies in choosing the challenging but righteous course of action. That choice may cause discomfort, but it sets the foundation for creating reliable bonds with mutual respect.

2. Tell it Like it is

  • Takeaway: "You will experience overwhelming psychological pressure to be overly positive. Stand up to the pressure, face your fear, and tell it like it is.”

  • Tip: People have a tendency to be overly positive. They think it makes them more likable and people will come to them more often. In reality, being likable and wrong equates to being untrustworthy. People don't want to associate with people they cannot trust in the long run. Instead, be respectful and candid in saying things as they are. Don't blow sunshine up peoples a$$es!

3. Don't Make it Personal

  • Takeaway: "Truly great leaders create an environment where the employees feel that the CEO cares more about the employees than she cares about herself."

  • Tip: Everyone has opportunities to flex their leadership muscles, no matter their role in a company. When that time comes, don't let selfishness guide your decisions. Using the company and the people as your north star, make it clear the actions taken will be to their benefit. It shows you care more about them than any personal motives. You become a champion of their success, and they will return the favor.

4. Avoid Lies that Losers Tell

  • Takeaway: "People tend to take action on positive leading indicators and only look for alternative explanations on the negative leading indicator."

  • Tip: Do not fall into a trap of sugar coating things. You can either spend energy developing creative narratives around why something is going poorly, or you can shift your energy to coming to terms with the situation and providing actionable solution. I don't remember the people that overexplained why we were in a bad situation, but I certainly remember the ones that helped lead us out of a tight jam.

5. We Can't All Do it Alone

  • Takeaway: "No matter who you are, you need two kinds of friends in your life. The first kind is one you can call when something good happens, and you need someone who will be excited for you. The second kind of friend is somebody you can call when things go horribly wrong—when your life is on the line and you only have one phone call."

  • Tip: Curate your circle wisely. No one can go it alone. Seek trusted sources for advice, discussions on tough choices, and brainstorming solutions. If you receive unsound guidance without questioning it, not only must you sever that connection, but you risk conveying flawed instructions to your teammates and jeopardizing valuable relationships. Choose your network prudently.

The way you conduct yourself each day in the workplace has a profound impact on how you build professional relationships with your colleagues. Further, the actions you take during the difficult times often become the defining moments of what you represent to those around you. It can forge lasting connections that garner respect and admiration or put you at risk of being blacklisted.

Take a moment to reflect on how you hold yourself in the workplace. Would others want that person in their corner when making tough decisions? Are you someone that they would go to for advice? Or would people avoid you like the plague?

What I’m committing to this week to build the foundations for long lasting professional relationships in the workplace (time commitment of ~2 hours):

  • 🤝 Identifying three professional connections I can go to when things go horribly wrong and reaching out to catch up if I have not in the last 3 months (~45 minutes)

  • 😀😐🙁 Asking a direct report for feedback on if my messaging has been overly positive or properly aligned with circumstances (~30 minutes)

  • 📖 Sharing this article with two connections to gauge their thoughts on where an organization should stand on the care-candor spectrum (~20 minutes)

  • 🤔 Reflecting at the end of each day on how often I made the tough, correct choice or opted for the easy way out (~5 minutes daily)

What are you committing to this week? Reply to this email!

Best of luck building,

Devin