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3 Takeaways About Professional Connections From Sam Jacobs' New Book

I read Kind Folks Finish First by Sam Jacobs so you don't have to—here's what's important.

Author

Devin Keane
May 24, 2023

Read time: 4 minutes

Hi Proactive Professional,

If there’s anything we’ve learned over the last few years, it’s that we are better together.

If you didn’t catch my welcome note, I’m Devin. I’m 28 years old, I’m the Senior Director of Strategy at a publicly traded company, and I’ve witnessed a lot of success and failure in the first six years of my career—some of it my own and some of it others’.

With everything we’ve been through and the way the workforce is changing, I’m re-evaluating a lot of what it means to be successful, much like you may be.

So I'm reading books, listening to podcasts, and conducting interviews about creating professional relationships and its direct impact on success and happiness—so you don't have to.

The first book I read is Kind Folks Finish First by Sam Jacobs, the founder of Pavilion. The central theme in this book is the power of relationships and their long-term value if managed correctly. People think there is only one surefire way to success in business: being cut-throat and succeeding at the expense of others. Sam shows you can be considerate and everyone can win together.

"My life changed when I realized that helping other people without asking for anything in return, that playing a game so long I didn't have to keep track of it, that helping for helping’s sake, was itself a competitive advantage because so few people do it. So few people truly practice it and embrace these ideas and these philosophies. So when you do, you stand out. You look different…These are practices you can embrace not just to feel good but to achieve the things you want to achieve in your professional life. You can use these practices to get rich and make a lot of money, get a promotion, or rise to the top of your profession."

Sam Jacobs

Here are 3 takeaways for a Proactive Professional like you:

1. Play the Long Game

  • Takeaway: "It is OK to leave money on the table or to do things for people that does not have immediate payback…Long term value creation you get from a warm and supportive relationship can be many factors bigger than the short term gain you might get from ensuring you chisel people for every nickel they may have."

  • Tip: Put an emphasis on building relationships and not transactions. Being generous to build relationships over time becomes a long term competitive advantage—it moves you from being a node on a network to being a hub. People will view you as someone that can help without any expectations. More people will come to you for assistance and as a result, you build social capital which leads to opportunities coming to your door and a network of people that are invested in your success.

2. Stop Keeping Score

  • Takeaway: "Be OK without instant gratification. Don't measure what you gain out of a relationship vs what they are gaining.”

  • Tip: People have been viewing relationships as win-lose since the beginning of time. Instinctually, when you do someone a favor, you want something of equal or greater value and you want that immediately. However, relationships can be win-win. Providing value in a relationship creates abundance and value to go around.

3. Give to Get

  • Takeaway: "Generosity and giving before you get is not a simple altruism. It is a sound business philosophy that can change your relationship to those around you and help you accumulate influence and power."

  • Tip: Don't go into calls with expectations or a desired outcome. Rather, go into them with curiosity and be open to learning. Be appreciative whether the takeaway is big or small, whether it leads to a big win or it ends as just an interesting conversation. Look to continue to be connected to others that may be useful and use those conversations as career advice. These are the relationships that can eventually make introductions, set up dream opportunities, vouch for you, and be eager to help.

As humans, we crave relationships. However, we are hardly ever willing to put the work in to nurture those relationships, to avoid competitiveness, and show interest when there is not an immediate benefit.

Take a second to think about the professional relationships you currently have and the ones you have had over the years. How many are strong today? Have they become transactional? Are you just trading IOUs? This book teaches us how to flip these neglected relationships on their heads and create symbiotic relationships where everyone's professional goals can be achieved (while making a lot of $$ along the way).

What I’m committing to this week to move from nodes on networks to central hubs (time commitment of ~2 hours):

  • ☕️ Having a coffee chat with a new business school student to congratulate them and listen to their startup ideas (~45 minutes)

  • 🍸 Sharing my experiences and perspectives over drinks with a connection starting a new job at a startup (~1 hour)

  • 🤝 Introducing a recent data science graduate to an NBA team's Director of Data Analytics (~10 minutes)

  • 📖 Sharing this useful piece on productivity by Sahil Bloom with three relevant connections (~10 minutes)

What are you committing to this week? Reply to this email!

Best of luck building,

Devin