4 Important Takeaways from a Superconnector Who Changed My Life

1. Listen More Than You Speak and Always Have an Opinion

• Tip: People like to hear their own voices. They talk about themselves, their interests, what they are up to, new ideas they have, their opinions, etc. The more you let someone talk, the easier it is for them to remember that conversation as having "gone well". Unfortunately, that isn't enough to define a good relationship. To get to that point, you need to opinion on what they say. If you aren't familiar with the topic, ask questions to show your interest. This will make them feel heard and it's a great way to set the stage to build upon the relationship.

• BLB: Begho had a knack for pulling the more obscure and interesting takes out of conversations with people. This matched with his ability to relate it to one of his unique adventures, favorite niche films, or shared experience with another exceptional friend (who he would then introduce you to the next day).

2. Don't be Afraid to Bring an Interesting Take to a Conversation

• Tip: An interesting take doesn't need to be contentious. If it is delivered genuinely, it can actually create a stronger and more memorable bond. I would never recommend taking what someone says as the truth. But being able to comfortably receive new ideas opens up doors to new interests, engaging conversations, and knowledge transfer. There is a reason café culture dates back to the 16th century, where coffeehouses were not only places to gather, but also artistic and intellectual centers.

• BLB: Begho never failed to bring some flair to a conversation, whether fascinating or contrarian. This was someone that could walk you through the sculpting styles used throughout The MET, then comment on the seven new genres of music that you may be interested in while en-route to his favorite bagel place in NYC (while ferociously claiming it doesn’t come close to a New Jersey bagel. Yes, I remained friends with him after those claims…). Begho's enthusiastic participation in every conversation is one of the reasons people gravitated towards him wherever he went.

3. Follow Your Interests and Align with People that Help you Lean into Them

• Tip: You can't fake connections and if you try to, they aren't going to last. Professional and personal connections need to have the right foundation. What excites you? What do you want to learn? What are you working on? Talk about those things with people. If they don't want to listen and they don't show genuine interest, they aren't worth nurturing the relationship.

• BLB: People define a path for success in every industry. Begho swiftly crumpled that up, tossed it in the trash, and said, "I am going to do things my way." He followed his interests, which led him to some incredible people who he could share those interests with. This created new interests, more relationships to share them with, all while happily following his own path.

4. Create a Habit of Sending Things to People that Make You Think of Them

• Tip: It doesn't take much to show someone they are on your mind—to put a smile on their face because something reminded you of them. Its quick and low touch. It’s a short article you came across, a picture relating to an inside joke, a podcast you think they would find interesting. It's not a mandatory back and forth conversation, rather just a nudge to remind them you appreciate them. Something as little as this both keeps the connection warm and helps strengthen these relationships over time.

• BLB: Begho's ability to make someone feel seen, thought about, and valued knew no bounds. He would never hold back on sending something that reminded him of you just because. He would introduce you to new things he thought you would appreciate or even better, he would try things out he knows you like just to give you his take on it. Begho always went the extra mile and it shows in the strong bonds he created.

What I’m committing to this week to BLB (time commitment of ~1 hour and 45 minutes):

• 🤝 Sharing a few episodes from my favorite podcast, Founders by David Senra, with connections I’ve thought about while listening (~30 minutes)

• 📖 Sharing this article with three connections and asking them if their actions align with their true values (~45 minutes)

• 🤔 Refocus my priorities by shifting from time-based measurements to activity-based measurements, inspired by Tim Urban's The Tail End (~30 minutes)

What are you committing to this week? Reply to this email!