4 Essential Professional Skills for Building Better Connections

1. Due Diligence: Research Ahead of Time

• Takeaway: "Churchill would tell us, preparation is—if not the key to genius—then at least the key to sounding like a genius."

• Tip: Before you meet anyone you are trying to add to your meaningful network, you should prepare. Figure out what is important to them. Don't just think about what their biggest challenges and goals could be professionally, think about who they are as a human being. What are their hobbies and interests? What do they feel strongly about? What may be some of their proudest achievements. To get a well-rounded view, look beyond the individual level and be up to date on what's happening at their company. People care about what they do more than anything else, and by doing your due diligence, you show them you care about it also.

2. Intentionality: Figure Out the Right Filters

• Takeaway: "The problem isn't information overload, it's filter failure. Our challenge these days is to figure out, in the mass of contacts we've collected, which ones matter."

• Tip: Every year there seems to be some groundbreaking app that allows you to interact with more people. There’s the obvious ones—like LinkedIn, Twitter (X), Facebook, and Instagram—and the more niche ones—like Bumble BFF, Meetup, and Saturday. Combine that with the in-person networking opportunities in any city, there is unlimited access to people. But research (i.e. Dunbar's number) tells us we can really only maintain 150 meaningful connections at once, which makes it all the more important to have the right filters when navigating networking. Personally, I use Notion to help organize people I meet into a high impact network, low impact network, and those I can be helpful to in some way. Each category has unique filters and entry limits.

3. Inclusivity: Never Eat Alone

• Takeaway: "I'm constantly looking to include others in whatever I'm doing. It's good for them, good for me, and good for everyone to broaden their circle of friends."

• Tip: You already know part of what I am going to say—invite others for dinner, lunch, and other instances of going out for refreshments. But let's get more creative than that. Where do your hobbies overlap? That may look like inviting them for a workout class, a run, to go to the dog park, a BBQ, or even for a home-cooked meal. Some of my personal favorites: inviting others to guest play on my soccer teams, going to an outdoor concert, or going to a comedy show and spending some quality time before or after the event. Find your unique way to include others in the activities you love.

4. Perceptiveness: Learn About a Connection Through Shared Passions

• Takeaway: "It is what you do together that matters, not how often you meet. That's why you have to pay special attention to where you're most comfortable and what activities you most enjoy…I can tell you more about how someone is likely to react in a business situation from my experience with them after just one strenuous workout than I can from any number of in-office meetings."

• Tip: When you are passionate about something, it's contagious. Sharing a passion with someone allows you to connect with them on a deeper level based on what you care about and who you truly are, rather than just what you’re saying. When people do things they are passionate about, they let their guards down and show a more true version of themselves. You can learn a lot about a person this way, especially when you are perceptive.

BONUS Cheat Sheet. Available to Subscribers With at Least 1 Referral

What I’m committing to this week for building relationships (~2 hours):

• 🍽 Catching up with a former co-worker over lunch to hear about his next move (~1 hour)

• ☕ Getting to know the founder of an ed-tech company better over a coffee (~45 minutes)

• 💡 Learning more about Dunbar's number to understand if it’s even possible to have a large, yet meaningful network (~30 minutes)

• 🤔 Reflecting on my week this Friday: How often do I include connections in some of my hobbies and activities? (~15 minutes)

What are you committing to this week? Reply to this email!