5 IRL Meetings That Can Boost Our Relationship Building—and When to Use Them

1. Breakfast meeting

This is a drastically underrated meeting type—one that I had almost completely forgotten about until I was catching up with a connection of mine (thanks, Jake!). Let's face it, most people need some caffeine and fuel to start the day, why not make that time more productive by catching up with a connection?

Benefits:

• Efficient scheduling: People often have fewer commitments in the morning making them more available

• Fewer distractions: Since this is before work, you often won't be pulled into something else last minute

• Finite time: Usually lasting less than 45 minutes with a set end time (e.g. "need to leave for the office at 9am") allow these meeting to be focused (and give you an out in case things aren't going well)

Downsides:

• Not for night owls: Not everyone is their best in the early hours

• Limited time: Meetings may feel rushed

Uses:

• Networking: Great for meeting someone new when you both have busy schedules later in the day

• Mentor/mentee sessions: Calm setting to catch up on specific topics

• While traveling: When you are in a different city for work but don't think you have enough time to see everyone you want, or the reverse, when a connection is in your city for a limited amount of time

2. Coffee Chat

These can often be very short meetings (~15-30 minutes), so they are better used for meeting someone new or having a pre-planned conversation around a particular topic. But whether it's with a current coworker, new connection, or friend that's in town, it's a great way to take a brief break from your work day.

Benefits:

• Casual setting: Offers a relaxed environment conducive to open conversation

• Quick & efficient: Short duration makes it easy to fit into a busy day

• Low-pressure: Informal nature can lead to more genuine interactions

Downsides:

• Limited time: You can't catch up on many topics because of limited time

• Last minute conflicts: Often placed in the middle of the workday, the chances of the meeting moving around due to a variety of reasons is high

Uses:

• Brief updates: Ideal for quick catch-ups or sharing specific news

• Networking: Perfect for informal business chats or meeting new contacts

• Brainstorming: A change of scenery with co-workers can spark creativity

3. Dinner Meeting

These are my go-to for anyone that I've had a close working or personal relationship with in the past, but just don't get to interact with as much these days. We all become very busy and as a result excuses for why we can't see each other pile up. Putting a date on the calendar for a dinner far in advance allows you at least 1.5 hours of quality time with a connection in a relaxed and intimate environment.

But beware, a few too many drinks at dinner and you could be betting your former CFO and President that you'll beat them in a made up version of a triathlon (running, swimming, and waterslide to end it off).

Benefits:

• Relaxed ambiance: Evening setting often feels more intimate

• Extended duration: Allows for prolonged, in-depth conversations

• Versatility: Can be paired with post-dinner activities or events

Downsides:

• Higher costs: Dinner venues can be pricier

• Late hours: Might extend late, affecting subsequent plans

• Overindulgence risk: Potential for excessive food or drink consumption

Uses:

• Former close working relationships: Dinners can be long if you don't have much to talk about, but if you have plenty of shared experiences (and some vino), the conversation can go on for hours

• Discussing numerous topics: Be it a friend or professional connection, if you have many things to go over, dinners typically allow for many topics to be discussed given the amount of time you have

4. Drinks

Whether it’s a cocktail, mocktail, or water, going to a bar to spend some time with a connection is a great way to catch up with years-long friends or people you are meeting for the first time. The thing I love about this option is it's not only something to look forward to at the end of a day, this meetup is a very open ended one. Conversation going well? Stay for a few more. Want to learn more about the person? Extend the meeting into dinner. Things not going as expected? Keep it to one drink and head out early

Benefits:

• Informal to formal: You can choose the appropriate setting whether a purely professional connection, a best friend, or something in between

• Flexibility: Not only can you make this meeting as long or short as you're comfortable with, but you also have flexibility on how many people you invite

• Networking potential: Ideal for social mixers or group events

Downsides:

• Overindulgence risk: Our limits often get blurred as we have more drinks. With some connections that’s a good thing, but for others it could be a bad look. What's worse? The hangover in the morning putting a stop to any productivity

Uses:

• Social networking: Meeting many people at once in a casual setting

• Celebrations: Celebrating a win with colleagues or connections in a relaxed environment

• Meeting new people: Being in a more casual environment with some drinks can be conducive to more comfortable conversations with new connections

5. In-Person Shared Experiences (Workout Class, Concert, Event, etc.)

This past week I went to an event focused on founders that play soccer. We met briefly in warmups, played soccer for two hours, and then went to brunch to chat more about what each of us was building. The best part, because we already had a shared interest to bond over, the setting became very relaxed.

Benefits:

• Unique bonding: Shared activities foster stronger connections

• Diverse interests: Can cater to a wide range of preferences

• Ice-Breaker: Great for initiating relationships in a relaxed setting

Downsides:

• Not one-size-fits-all: Might not cater to everyone's tastes or physical abilities

• Potential Costs: Some activities can be pricey

• Distraction potential: The main activity might overshadow meaningful conversation

Uses:

• Making relationships more personal: Getting to know someone outside of a formal setting and over shared interests creates a new dimension in the connection

• Current connections: Strengthening bonds over a mutually enjoyed interest while still getting to touch base on other topics

BONUS: 6. Lunch Meeting

7. Nightcap

This is a great way to….kidding, I'm not diving into this one.

Just know it's the go-to for Ron Burgundy when you need to impress your co-worker with some jazz flute.

What I’m committing to this week for building relationships (time commitment ~3 hours):

• ⛳ Hitting the links with 10+ Keane's for a family golf trip (~1.5 hours)

• 🥪 Catching up with a founder in the edTech space over lunch (~1 hour)

• 📞 Having an intro call with someone a met during tech week (~30 minutes)

• 🤔 Reflecting on my week this Friday: Where can I switch certain virtual meetings to IRL ones? (~15 minutes)

What are you committing to this week? Reply to this email!