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4 Ways to Make the Most of Your Everyday Interactions with Coworkers
Intentionality in workplace interactions will pay off in your overall professional and personal success.
Devin Keane
November 15, 2023
Read time: 5 minutes
Hi Proactive Professional,
When I used to hear the word "networking," my mind would jump to "what should I be doing to connect with people outside of my current organization."
You don't need to "network" with coworkers you see every day, right? You just build a relationship by being around themā¦
Turns out, this isnāt the case. Being able to connect and build stronger relationships with those in your workplace is some of the most important networking you'll ever do.
These are people you are in the trenches with, creating valuable relationships that can act as sounding boards, mentors, and people that are invested in your future successā¦
If you build real relationships with them, that is.
Take my experience at Blade as an example. I spent two years growing with a company as they pursued opportunities in multiple different countries, acquired various businesses, and even entered into the healthcare transport industry (in addition to their bread and butter: the passenger transport industry).
I made a point to get to know all the people I was working closely with well, on both a personal and professional level. The result?
I continue to grab dinner with former execs, go to concerts with old coworkers, have drinks for birthday celebrations, and reminisce about both the fun times and the tough times. These are the same people that:
First subscribed to buildbetter
Helped me think through leaving Blade
Offered to put me in touch with impressive connections
I continue to go to as a sounding board as I test out unfamiliar waters
But had I handled my time differently and not made an effort, I'd likely have a much different result:
Nobody supporting my new ventures
Crickets when asking for advice or feedback
Unable to access some useful connections coworkers have
No discounted helicopter transfer from JFK to Manhattan (jk! We arenāt here to be transactional after all)
But how do you do this? It's not about playing kiss a$$. It's about finding ways of dealing with peers and workplace situations to get the most out of everyone involved. It's not all roses. There will be ups and downs. That's why it's important to work productively through it all to come out the other side with relationships intact.
I've found that a few of the principles from the "Work Principles" section of Ray Dalio's book: "Principles: Work & Life" have come in handy for productively interacting with co-workers.
Applying 4 of Ray Dalio's Work Principles to Our Workplace Interactions:
1. Have Integrity and Demand it From Others
"People who are one way on the inside and another on the outside become conflicted and often lose touch with their own values. It's difficult for them to be happy and almost impossible for them to be their best." - Ray Dalio
Takeaway: Although it's easier to say you align with someone else's view because it avoids conflict or embarrassment, the result is that you will start to lose touch with your own values and not actually provide much benefit. You become a yes man. But if you stick to your guns in a respectful way, the worst that will happen is you've contributed a valuable (and hopefully well thought out) opinion that can shed light on a new approach.
Having nothing to hide relieves stress, builds trust, and allows people to focus on finding the best solution instead of the one coming from the most senior person.
Plus, when people all default to kissing one person's a$$, bad ideas go unchallenged. In the worst case, we get commercials like Kendall Jenner "ending racism" with a Pepsi.
2. Recognize that Conflicts are Essential for Great Work Relationships
"Open discussion of differences ensures that there are no misunderstandings. If that doesn't happen on an ongoing basis, gaps in perspective will widen until inevitably there is a major clash." - Ray Dalio
Takeaway: Ignoring or putting off conflicts is never productive. Itās like ignoring the minor leak in your bathroom, hoping it will just go away. Eventually, the whole ceiling will collapse from the prolonged water damage.
Rather than pushing it off until a major blowout (ceiling collapse) takes place and the work relationship is irreparable, choose to deal with the minor leak and face the conflict while you can still approach it in a reasonable, understanding way.
Understanding negotiation and debate play an important role in work conflict and the process of give and take on these conflicts will draw you closer together and allow for better solutions, both now and in the future.
3. Everyone Has a Right and Responsibility to Try to Make Sense of Important Things
"Let's agree that I am a dumb $hit but I still need to make sense of this, so let's move slowly to make sure that happens." - Ray Dalio
Takeaway: Not everyone processes info or comes to conclusions the same way, so it's fair to say sometimes people take a bit longer to see the right picture. Be patient with others who are working through something and give them time to come to the same conclusion as you before assuming they never will. Encourage them to keep an open mind and let them ask questions as they figure it out.
And remember, the same goes for when you are the person who is playing catch up to the things everyone believes is true.
4. Think About Whether You are Playing the Role of a Teacher, a Student, or a Peer
"Too often people flail in their disagreements because they either don't know or don't think about how they should engage effectively; they just blurt out whatever they think and argue." - Ray Dalio
Takeaway: When you get into a conflict, you should quickly understand if you should be teaching, asking questions, or debating. This comes down to your respective level in the organization and your overall expertise. It wouldn't make sense for the person who knows less to tell the expert how something should be done. In that case you should be a student and ask many questions to understand their logic. If the roles are switched, be patient in explanations. If it's a peer at a similar level, make sure to encourage productive debate to come to the right solution.
Whatever the situation, make sure you have the right balance between assertiveness and open-mindedness.
BONUS: 5. Be Aware of People That Pretend to Operate in Your Interest While Operating in Their Own
Think about how much time you spend with coworkers, especially if you are not a remote employee. It's probably more time than with your family, friends or even significant others.
If you are going with the flow, keeping to yourself, and just getting by by yes-ing people to death, you are making the least of this time.
Focus on building meaningful relationships productively through the ups and downs of your current role. It will pay off in the long run.
What Iām committing to this week for building relationships (time commitment ~4 hours):
š» Grabbing drinks with the friendship pro and host of hilarious Man of The Year podcast, Aaron Karo (~1.5 hours)
š½ Sharing updates with two other founders over dinner (~1.5 hours)
ā½ Co-hosting Pitch on the Pitch: Soccer Networking for Tech, on Thursday. Sign up here (~1 hour)
š¤ Reflecting on my week this Friday: What work principle could I improve upon (~15 minutes)
What are you committing to this week? Reply to this email!
Best of luck building,
Devin