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6 Things to Consider Before Making an Introduction for Someone
You can’t recommend everyone for the job—here’s how to make sure you’re doing it right when you do.
Read time: 4 minutes
Hi Proactive Professional,
One of the most powerful ways to build social capital is through meaningful introductions. I know what you're probably thinking… Well, duh. If you introduce people who are beneficial to one another, you've proven yourself thoughtful, trustworthy, and a valuable resource to both people.
So that's that. Make as many introductions as possible and the ones that work will propel you to superconnector status… Wrong.
This is a huge mistake and one I made many times myself when my networking journey began. Committing to help anybody and everybody because of your diverse set of relationships is a slippery slope. You start to make connection commitments before asking your network if they are even willing to connect in the first place. Now you’re wasting both parties' most valuable resource, time, with useless conversations and putting your reputation as a connector at risk.
If you haven't vetted people's motivations and abilities, respectfully asked your connection if it would be worth their time to meet this person, and are generally not thoughtful about your approach, you may as well be blindfolded trying to hit a bullseye.
So this week, we’re picking back up on the Superconnector series (for the previous edition, click here) and we’re discussing the dos and don'ts of making introductions.
How to Make Sure Introductions Build Social Capital:
1. Making an Introduction
"A good intro offers context, is matter-of-fact without being unnecessarily verbose, lays out the goals and mutual value—and explains how to accomplish all of this in either an in-person one-minute overview or a short email that actually gets read."
This doesn't mean go and introduce any pair that could potentially be a fit. You need to resist that urge and be more thoughtful.. Make sure to listen closely and understand the needs of each person so you don’t waste anybody’s time. And remember, intros are more than "I think you two should meet."
Instead, they give the who, what, when, where, and why. All of this shows how the intro can lead to mutually beneficial conversations.
Superconnector illustrates a great example of this, although in many cases the introduction can be even shorter and more concise:
2. The Double Opt-in
“The double opt-in is exactly as it sounds: a connection between two people who both agree to it. Only in very select circumstances is it okay to make a blind introduction."
Before you dare to put two people on the same chain, you should always practice this. Directly introducing people can be uncomfortable for both parties (who now likely feel obligated to connect even if they have no way to help one another).
3. Requesting Forwardable Notes (i.e. make it easy)
"I will have the person who wants the introduction write a few sentences, and I'll edit it down and pass it on, asking if it's okay to make the introduction."
Have the person you are introducing put together a few sentences on who they are and why they'd like to connect with someone. Now, you can lightly edit and shoot this over to the other person for their opt-in on if they are willing to help. This spares the connector time in drafting and the guessing game of how the person wants to be portrayed.
4. When it’s OK to Directly Intro People
"Only when you know both parties, their goals, personalities, and backgrounds, incredibly well."
Direct intros should not be made after only meeting someone once or twice. It should be reserved for rare occasions when you know others so well that the likelihood of the intro being valuable is high and in the slight chance it’s not, your reputation will be preserved because of your existing relationship with both parties.
5. Following up
"If you really care about being a connector, then you want to have something to measure yourself against. You want to see what works, what didn't and what you can do differently in the future."
Going through the effort of making an intro and failing to follow up is like quitting a race within inches of the finish line. It's important to know if it was an effective conversation or a waste of time. If you are unknowingly facilitating the latter, your reputation as a connector could be ruined. Plus, it doesn't take much—a quick email or note does the trick.
6. When Not to Make an Intro
"Even if the person you're trying to help is really great, if you know it's a bad fit, don't do it. More often than not, not making an introduction is the right move. You can't give to everyone. Over time, the quality of your seal of approval will decrease. What you do for people will be considered added noise and not a welcome gift.”
Handling the introduction process poorly is one of the quickest ways to lose credibility as a connector. The people that came to you in the first place won’t trust your judgment, and your network will stop showing up for you.
Being thoughtful means becoming selective and telling people the truth (respectfully) if a connection doesn't make sense right now.
It also means the people you do connect successfully can become some of your strongest advocates 🤝
What I’m committing to this week for building relationships (time commitment ~6.5 hours):
⚽ Co-hosting Pitch on the Pitch: Soccer Networking for Tech, on Thursday at 7pm ET. Sign up here! (~2 hours)
🤝 Making five thoughtful introductions to a friend looking for new roles (~1 hour)
📞 Catching up with six people I haven’t spoken to in over six months (~3 hours)
🤔 Reflecting on my week this Friday: How often have I offered and intro and not followed through? How can I lower that number? (~30 minutes)
What are you committing to this week? Reply to this email!
Helpful links:
Buy Superconnector by Scott Gerber & Ryan Paugh
Sign up for the Rolotech waitlist (your network will thank you 😉)
Best of luck building,
Devin