How Curiosity Can Get You Closer to Your Goals Than Almost Anything Else

Welcome to buildbetter, your weekly guide to understanding and building meaningful relationships in all aspects of your life.

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Read time: 4 minutes

Today at a glance:

• Topic: Curiosity's role in connecting

• Tactic: How 7 year old Cal Fussman got in touch with a president

• Devin's Finds: 🎧, ❓, 🎞

• Commitments: 🤝

Curiosity is an interesting trait. At a young age, we're encouraged to use it to learn about the world around us. By age 4, we’re asking almost 300 questions a day (probably annoying the heck out of our parents). Then we get to elementary school where we need to raise our hand to ask a question. Now, those 300 questions we used to ask are more than halved. We begin to get embarrassed if we are asking the "right" question and by high school, we reduce the number we ask by another 75%.

Next thing you know you’re in your first job out of college situated around older and more experienced people and something comes up that you don’t understand. Are you going to ask the question? Or are you just going to be quiet and hope that you’ll somehow figure it out? Spoiler: Most people won't ask the question.

Stunting this genuine curiosity has big implications: capping our ability to learn and preventing us from connecting deeply with others.

One profession, above most others, that encourages its members to be curious is journalism. 

Today, we’re learning about the power of curiosity from famous journalist and author, Cal Fussman. He believes that whatever we do with our lives, our ability to connect with others is one of the most value creating forces that we can harness. His strength in connecting has led him to interview nearly every prolific figure imaginable including:

• Business icons like Jeff Bezos and Richard Branson

• Actors like Robert De Niro and Clint Eastwood

• Sports figures like Serena Williams, Mohammad Ali and Pele

• World leaders including U.S. Presidents and Mikhail Gorbachev

But how did Cal cultivate a lifelong curiosity and the ability to ask good questions? It started in 1963 during an important life moment leading him to reach out to President Lyndon B. Johnson, when Cal was just in second grade.

How Curiosity Put a 7 Year Old in Touch With the President

Just as Cal was learning to address an envelope in second grade, his class received some terrible news: John F. Kennedy had been assassinated. Cal's parents assured the youngster that the country had a plan and there was nothing to worry about. But all the naïve 7 year old could think was, "of course he’s the new president, he has a middle initial in his name and anyone that has that becomes president.” (like Dwight D. Eisenhower, Harry S. Truman, and John F. Kennedy, amongst others.) So Cal, being confused because clearly President Johnson knew he would be president, was curious if President Johnson was upset that he became president because of an assassination or scared that it may happen to him. Cal mailed the letter without telling anyone else.

Little did anyone know that a curious letter from a second grader would be answered a few weeks later by the most powerful person in the world. Cal received a lengthy note back weeks later (clearly President Johnson did not know it was just a second grader on the receiving end).

Cal's big takeaway: A single question can get you access to the most powerful person on earth.

My takeaway: If a good questions can captivate the interest and attention of someone like the president, think about what it can do with the people around you every day. It can create deeper bonds, unlock doors you didn’t think of, and add value in any part of your professional or personal life.

It’s more important now than ever to not suppress that genuine curiosity. Because the quicker we stop being genuinely curious and asking, the quicker we stunt growth and connection in all aspects of our lives.

Devin's Finds:

🎧 Cal Fussman - Compounding Human Connections (~1 hour podcast):  If you enjoyed today's newsletter, I’d recommend giving this podcast a listen where Cal talks about learnings from experiences interviewing Mikhail Gorbachev, Serena Williams, and discussing how to ask questions aimed at the heart, not just at the head.

❓ A question to ponder by Sahil Bloom:

🎞 A 1 minute Instagram reel reminding us that no one is watching our every move, so stop acting like they are.

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Best of luck building,

Devin