6 Things to Consider Before Making an Introduction for Someone

1. Making an Introduction

"A good intro offers context, is matter-of-fact without being unnecessarily verbose, lays out the goals and mutual value—and explains how to accomplish all of this in either an in-person one-minute overview or a short email that actually gets read."

This doesn't mean go and introduce any pair that could potentially be a fit. You need to resist that urge and be more thoughtful.. Make sure to listen closely and understand the needs of each person so you don’t waste anybody’s time. And remember, intros are more than "I think you two should meet."

Instead, they give the who, what, when, where, and why. All of this shows how the intro can lead to mutually beneficial conversations.

Superconnector illustrates a great example of this, although in many cases the introduction can be even shorter and more concise:

2. The Double Opt-in

“The double opt-in is exactly as it sounds: a connection between two people who both agree to it. Only in very select circumstances is it okay to make a blind introduction."

Before you dare to put two people on the same chain, you should always practice this. Directly introducing people can be uncomfortable for both parties (who now likely feel obligated to connect even if they have no way to help one another).

3. Requesting Forwardable Notes (i.e. make it easy)

"I will have the person who wants the introduction write a few sentences, and I'll edit it down and pass it on, asking if it's okay to make the introduction."

Have the person you are introducing put together a few sentences on who they are and why they'd like to connect with someone. Now, you can lightly edit and shoot this over to the other person for their opt-in on if they are willing to help. This spares the connector time in drafting and the guessing game of how the person wants to be portrayed.

4. When it’s OK to Directly Intro People

"Only when you know both parties, their goals, personalities, and backgrounds, incredibly well."

Direct intros should not be made after only meeting someone once or twice. It should be reserved for rare occasions when you know others so well that the likelihood of the intro being valuable is high and in the slight chance it’s not, your reputation will be preserved because of your existing relationship with both parties.

5. Following up

"If you really care about being a connector, then you want to have something to measure yourself against. You want to see what works, what didn't and what you can do differently in the future."

Going through the effort of making an intro and failing to follow up is like quitting a race within inches of the finish line. It's important to know if it was an effective conversation or a waste of time. If you are unknowingly facilitating the latter, your reputation as a connector could be ruined. Plus, it doesn't take much—a quick email or note does the trick.

6. When Not to Make an Intro

"Even if the person you're trying to help is really great, if you know it's a bad fit, don't do it. More often than not, not making an introduction is the right move. You can't give to everyone. Over time, the quality of your seal of approval will decrease. What you do for people will be considered added noise and not a welcome gift.”

It doesn't take too much to build relationships, here's what I'm committing to this week:

• 🎂 Celebrating family birthdays for my mother-in-law and father-in-law

• 🍽 Getting dinner with a group of friends helping build community for others in NYC

• 🎤 Going to a live show in NYC for two friends that host the #1 friendship podcast: Man of the Year (get tickets here!)

• 👋 Hanging out with a friend who has been out of town for a few months

What are you committing to this week? Reply to this email!